What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
