Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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