She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
