I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
