Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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