my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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