Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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