So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
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