if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
