my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
