I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
