i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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