you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
