It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
