I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
