There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
