Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Damn victory sex feels great
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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