I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
