Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
