lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
