Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
