a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
My feet surprised me
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