Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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