My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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