I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
