You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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