Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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