I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
