i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
