Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
