Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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