Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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