Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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