I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
