I think my fart just growled at me.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You dont lie about slip and slides
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
