drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
