Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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