You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
