you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
