You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
