My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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