For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
