i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
