Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
