worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
