I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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