i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize