Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He keeps bees of course he's weird
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
