1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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