you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
