I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
