If that was your dad, he is hot
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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