I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
