i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
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