My girlfriend figured out who you are.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
