i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
