I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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