Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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