when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Randomize
