Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
