there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
