It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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