that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
i think im in europe. pls send help
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
