Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
